What do I want to see in 2009?

“How simple is salvation! All it says is what was never true is not true now, and never will be. The impossible has not occurred and can have no effects. And that is all. Can this be hard to learn by anyone who wants it to be true?” ACIM text pg. 645

Do I want salvation? Do I want to see a perfect world? Or do I prefer to continue dreaming this world of pain and despair, heartache and disappointment, loss and death? I have the power to decide. Just as I made this illusion of a world, I have the ability to listen to the truth. All that I need to do is to WANT to listen, to be willing to bend my ear in the direction of the Holy Spirit’s Voice. It is my choice. Oh, eventually I WILL see - that is a promise given by Jesus in the course. I WILL see the truth, that in God’s perfect world, everything is good and pure, including me. I WILL see that my true Self still resides with God, untouched by this illusory world, still safe and protected from all that I wrongly think could harm me. All that I need do is answer the call to see, in the language in which the call is made. The call is not a call to DO anything; it is a call to see truth for what it is, and in my seeing will what I see change. It will change to the changeless, to that which is, always has been, and always will be. God’s world is perfect and I abide in that perfection. It is not possible for it to be any other way!

“How wrong are you who fail to hear the call that echoes past each seeming call to death, that sings behind each murderous attack and pleads that love restore the dying world. You do not understand Who calls to you beyond each form of hate; each call to war. Yet you will recognize Him as you give Him answer in the language that he calls. He will appear when you have answered Him, and you will know in Him that God is Love.” ACIM text pg. 647

“You are deceived if you believe you want disaster and disunity and pain. Hear not the call for this within yourself. But listen, rather, to the deeper call beyond it that appeals for peace and joy. And all the world will give you joy and peace. For as you hear, you answer. And behold! Your answer is the proof of what you learned. Its outcome is the world you look upon.” ACIM text pg. 647-648

I don’t make New Year resolutions anymore because they are so easy to break and that is one more way that the ego lays guilt upon me. But . . . “He will appear when you have answered Him, . . .” -- if I were to make one, it would be this: That in 2009 I will hear the call and will answer in the language of love in order that I may see the world I truly want to see.

The Decision for God

"Whenever you are not wholly joyous, it is because you have reacted with a lack of love to one of God's creatures. Perceiving this as 'sin,' you become defensive because you expect attack. The decision to react in this way is yours, and can therefore be undone. It cannot be undone by repentance in the usual sense, because this implies guilt. If you allow yourself to feel guilty, you will reinforce the error rather than allow it to be undone for you. . . The first step in the undoing is to recognize that you actively decided wrongly, but can as actively decide otherwise. Be very firm with yourself in this, and keep yourself fully aware that the undoing process, which does not come from you, is nevertheless within you because God placed it there . . . return your thinking to the point at which the error was made, and give it over to the Atonement in peace. Say this to yourself as sincerely as you can, remembering that the Holy Spirit will respond fully to your slightest invitation:

I must have decided wrongly, because I am not at peace.
I made the decision myself, but I can also decide otherwise.
I want to decide otherwise, because I want to be at peace.
I do not feel guilty, because the Holy Spirit will undo all the consequences of my wrong decision if I let Him.
I choose to let Him, by allowing Him to decide for God for me."
ACIM text, pg. 89-90

I fully realize that every moment is a decision either for God or for the ego. You cannot walk with both. (You cannot serve two masters or you will love one and hate the other.) I really have to be on my toes because it is the little things that trip me up. I don't have any BIG problems in terms of the way the world describes problems, but the seeming little ones creep up on me. For example, there are issues with our neighbors and the fact that they don't behave responsibly with their dogs, which impacts not only the dogs but the wildlife in the woods. So yesterday I found myself walking with the ego and becoming angry about the dog thing. My peace went out the window. Finally, when I came home and meditated about it, I gave it over to the Holy Spirit but yet my decision hasn't been fully made because I still find it irritates me, and, as the Course says, there are no small upsets.

"There are no small upsets. They are all equally disturbing to my peace of mind." ACIM Lesson 5

Also, "I am never upset for the reason I think." ACIM Lesson 5
"I am upset because I see something that is not there." ACIM Lesson 6
"I see only the past." ACIM Lesson 7

I am seeing the past behavior of the dogs' owners and the past way the dogs act. Each moment, each encounter with another, is a chance to be "born again" and see them as they are IN THIS MOMENT and not as they were even a MILLISECOND ago. Because time does not exist, only the holy instant exists. And in the holy instant, everyone/everything is as God created them - holy, pure, divine and without any fault. And when I think about ANYTHING through my self versus my Self (my Divine Self guided by the Holy Spirit), my thoughts are meaningless.

Boy, this is very complicated but I GET it! I just have to practice it. This dog thing is an "in my face" thing every morning when I walk and so I'll get plenty of practice.

"If you could accept the world as meaningless and let the truth be written upon it for you, it would make you indescribably happy." ACIM Lesson 12

Only the Truth is True

"The truth is true. Nothing else matters, nothing else is reral, and everything beside it is not there. Let Me make the one distinction for you that you cannot make, but need to learn. Your faith in nothing is deceiving you. Offer your faith to Me, and I will place it gently in the holy place where it belongs. You will find no deception there, but only the simple truth. And you will love it because you will understand it." ACIM Text pg. 272 (message from theHoly Spirit)

"The quietness of its simplicity is so compelling that you will realize it is impossible to deny the simple truth. For there is nothing else. God is everywhere, and His Son is in Him with everything. Can he sing the dirge of sorrow when this is true?" ACIM Text pg. 274

Only the truth is true and all else is an illusion.

I have been so busy lately, really getting into my crafting (sewing, crocheting, knitting, felting) and now I'm getting into the writing mode and focusing energy on that. I think by me being interested in so many different things, it is the ego's way of sidetracking me from the Course, keepingme caught up in the world, taking my time away from reading the Course and meditating. Yet, I must remind the ego that by practicing forgiveness I am finding my way back home. Even if I never read another word in the Course (since I have read the text twice and done the lessons once and read the Manual for Teachers and Clarification of Terms twice), if I forgive and forgive, I will return home sooner rather than later (for we shall ALL go home eventually).