The Decision for God

"Whenever you are not wholly joyous, it is because you have reacted with a lack of love to one of God's creatures. Perceiving this as 'sin,' you become defensive because you expect attack. The decision to react in this way is yours, and can therefore be undone. It cannot be undone by repentance in the usual sense, because this implies guilt. If you allow yourself to feel guilty, you will reinforce the error rather than allow it to be undone for you. . . The first step in the undoing is to recognize that you actively decided wrongly, but can as actively decide otherwise. Be very firm with yourself in this, and keep yourself fully aware that the undoing process, which does not come from you, is nevertheless within you because God placed it there . . . return your thinking to the point at which the error was made, and give it over to the Atonement in peace. Say this to yourself as sincerely as you can, remembering that the Holy Spirit will respond fully to your slightest invitation:

I must have decided wrongly, because I am not at peace.
I made the decision myself, but I can also decide otherwise.
I want to decide otherwise, because I want to be at peace.
I do not feel guilty, because the Holy Spirit will undo all the consequences of my wrong decision if I let Him.
I choose to let Him, by allowing Him to decide for God for me."
ACIM text, pg. 89-90

I fully realize that every moment is a decision either for God or for the ego. You cannot walk with both. (You cannot serve two masters or you will love one and hate the other.) I really have to be on my toes because it is the little things that trip me up. I don't have any BIG problems in terms of the way the world describes problems, but the seeming little ones creep up on me. For example, there are issues with our neighbors and the fact that they don't behave responsibly with their dogs, which impacts not only the dogs but the wildlife in the woods. So yesterday I found myself walking with the ego and becoming angry about the dog thing. My peace went out the window. Finally, when I came home and meditated about it, I gave it over to the Holy Spirit but yet my decision hasn't been fully made because I still find it irritates me, and, as the Course says, there are no small upsets.

"There are no small upsets. They are all equally disturbing to my peace of mind." ACIM Lesson 5

Also, "I am never upset for the reason I think." ACIM Lesson 5
"I am upset because I see something that is not there." ACIM Lesson 6
"I see only the past." ACIM Lesson 7

I am seeing the past behavior of the dogs' owners and the past way the dogs act. Each moment, each encounter with another, is a chance to be "born again" and see them as they are IN THIS MOMENT and not as they were even a MILLISECOND ago. Because time does not exist, only the holy instant exists. And in the holy instant, everyone/everything is as God created them - holy, pure, divine and without any fault. And when I think about ANYTHING through my self versus my Self (my Divine Self guided by the Holy Spirit), my thoughts are meaningless.

Boy, this is very complicated but I GET it! I just have to practice it. This dog thing is an "in my face" thing every morning when I walk and so I'll get plenty of practice.

"If you could accept the world as meaningless and let the truth be written upon it for you, it would make you indescribably happy." ACIM Lesson 12

The Call

"This simple courtesy is all the Holy Spirit asks of you. Let truth be what it is. Do not intrude upon it, do not attack it, do not interrupt its coming. Let it encompass every situation and bring you peace. Not even faith is asked of you, for truth asks nothing. Let it enter and it will call forth and secure for you the faith you need for peace. But rise you not against it, for against your opposition it cannot come." ACIM text pg. 370

"To you who have acknowledged the Call of your Redeemer, the strain of not responding to His Call seems to be greater than before. This is not so. Before, the strain was there, but you attributed it to something else, believing that the "something else" produced it. This was never true. For what the "something else" produced was sorrow and depression, sickness and pain, darkness and dim imaginings of terror, cold fantasies of fear and fiery dreams of hell. And it was nothing but the intolerable strain of refusing to give faith to truth and see its evident reality." ACIM text pg. 371

I believe I ignored the Call for so many years and that is why I had some difficulties, although, looking back, those difficulties brought me to the place where I am today. Now I am more peaceful than I have ever been in my entire life. When I try to have faith through my ego, I block the Holy Spirit from showing me the truth which leads to faith and, ultimately, peace. And isn't that what we are all looking for? Peace. When I ignore the Call (which I don't do anymore; I can't!!), I get bogged down in the world and the pain that this world and the ego try to give. I like how the Course says "dim imaginings of terror" and "cold fantasies of fear" because that is all they are - imaginings and fantasies. There is no terror and there is no fear. These things cannot have any effect on me because they are not real. The Course is very clear about that. Only God is real. But I can MAKE fear and terror (pain and suffering) seem real when I believe in them. You make real what you believe.